The Cuban Has Landed
The Cubans arrived one day and have never stopped arriving.
They came en masse once and still do so today!
Once upon a time, Cubans discovered Miami. That's ancient history, well-documented. Since those early days of the Cuban Invasion of Miami, a lot has changed around here. For one, Cubans landing has pretty much stopped being a thing.
However, the first round of Cuban colonizers did actually land. But Cuba went downhill really fast, and the number of Cubans trying to escape skyrocketed. So, landing in Miami soon became a privilege reserved for a few chosen ones.
Because the vast majority of Cubans fleeing communism were ordinary citizens of this world and had to squeeze their brains to find their own way to get here—I mean, Miami or anywhere else, for that matter, just not by plane.
Eventually, natives from the island erased landing from their vocabulary and dropped airplanes as their preferred method of escaping from the island. But, boy, did they make their presence felt in South Florida!
Let's welcome the original Cuban influencers, and then some!
Cuba is a Third World nation desperately trying to reach the Fourth one. It is essentially a soon-to-be deserted island drifting aimlessly in the Caribbean, about 90 miles south of Key West. And it's famous because time stopped ticking there a long time ago.
From Cuba, the aboriginal Cuban influencers started coming over shortly after January 1st, 1959, when Cubans started fleeing Cuba in droves and headed north to Miami. And they've been coming for over 60 years now. There are still many more to come, no doubt!
It was just 1959, but it feels like forever ago when a guy named Fidel Castro, aka the horse, the kingpin, that guy, started kicking rich Cubans out of their cushy homes. Castro didn't like rich people—or anyone else, for that matter—except himself.
So, the first Cubans to escape did it mostly by plane and brought lots of money with them. But conditions changed quickly, and soon, Cubans were arriving in South Florida on just about anything that floats. And they still do today. Enter the balseros.
First, though, a few words about the original Cuban conquistadores.
When the first Cuban invaders got here, they took over like nobody's business. They couldn't vote, but they renamed streets, neighborhoods, you name it, to fit their Cuban style. Entire areas changed, and Spanish became the norm. And guess what? Spanglish became official language!
These powerful Cubans also changed politics. Big time. For the newcomers weren't a happy bunch, and who could blame them? Fidel Castro had taken everything they loved. So, they turned Miami into a political stronghold against that Castro guy.
In the blink of an eye, Cubans became the historic exile, once powerful but now fading fast. Unfortunately, their efforts to overthrow the regime didn't work, and King Castro died of natural causes in 2016.
On a lighter note, Cubans also introduced Miami gringos to Cuban food. Pastelitos, croquetas, café con leche —you name it. Miami was soon filled with Cuban eateries. Little Havana and Hialeah became foodie destinations, and the Cuban sandwich ruled supreme.
Oh! the balseros!
Time passed and Cubans kept coming, but they didn't bring much money at all anymore. They sure made their mark, though.
Cubans coming after the first wave were soon baptized the Balseros. Sure, they were not very rich and did not revamped the city map, but, among other things, they took good care of English. As a matter of fact, they made English a fancy afterthought in an English-speaking country, mind you.
Furthermore, they also introduced a new level of loudness and passion to human conversation never experienced before by the natives of this piece of land. The griteria officially became the norm, que bolá replaced traditional greetings, and por la izquierda became a the official cover-up term for anything illegal.
Most of this mayhem happens in Spanish, but Cubans have started mixing in English. Today, a conversation in Miami might include "oh, my God," "forget it," and "that's it" although not necessarily with an accent anywhere close to English. Say, that's it sounds a lot closer to dassit.
With all that said, Cubans are responsible for turning Miami into a vibrant city. Their unique way of speaking, loud and expressive, can't be replicated. And their food—pastries, puerco asado, frijoles negros, and fresh Cuban bread—makes dieting impossible. Salsa music adds energy to daily life, and the friendliness of Cubans makes navigating the city a breeze.
Now, pushing Cubans aside for a moment, Miami-Dade County can be overwhelming on its own. For one, it's hard to believe that 34 cities peacefully coexist in such a small area. Many people don't even know they exist. For most, this is Miami, plain and simple.
The cities are there.
Some popped up out of nowhere, like one built for the one-percenters. Others have strange origins, like the one born from a horse dispute. Some Sunny Isles could use a rebranding due to the Russian occupation of the area, and Florida City is famous much more famous for odd money accounting than for its location as the southernmost city of mainland U.S.A.
Sweetwater has nothing to do with water, and its founders are long gone. The politics there are as murky as ever, though. And North Miami Beach isn't what it sounds like—don't expect beaches. Trying to figure out why it exists can be a challenge.
Down south, Homestead, neighboring to Florida City to the North, has great wineries and local food if you avoid the usual suspects, that is, the big chains. And there are peacocks, lizards, bugs, and alligators galore.
Finally, if you accidentally find yourself trapped in Hialeah, don't argue with a native Cuban. They know everything, and disagreeing might defy your sanity!
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